I’m afraid of growing old. It’s weird but that’s one of my fears. Sometimes when I see one of those elderly folks walking by and I think to myself will I be like that eventually? I look at my great grand mother who passed away in April and I'm like - gosh all of us will pass away some day.
To live her later years in a home was really heartbreaking. I remembered that I broke down several times in the office when I heard that she passed away. I even fell sick after her funeral. I regretted not visiting her often at the home. When I saw her at the wake, in my mind I told her how sorry I was for not visiting her often. Even if she had a lot of great grand children and I don’t think she could remember me (with her Alzheimer's disease), I should have visited her more. Although I don’t say it, but I was really really sad that she passed away. I cried a lot…
I never take my grandparents for granted and I feel blessed that they are still alive. I’ve told friends that if they did pass away, I'll definitely have a nervous breakdown. I can't even imagine if it happens. Currently, my grandpa has Alzheimer's disease but it’s not that serious yet, he would just repeat his questions and I’ll dutifully answer. Sometimes, he’ll still ask me how school was, even though I’ve been working for almost 2 years. But it doesn't matter as long as both of them are still around which is the most important thing….
